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[ oh. the kiss is nice. for a second, she thinks maybe there's something to the whole "could we have normal sex" thing

and then she realizes that stelle wouldn't be like this if that was all that was happening. the alarm bells in her head start sounding but it's too late, because she's been forced to drink something and -

"don't let them make you drink it - "

"it's burning my insides - the pain is killing me - make it stop -"

- she screams. even as the heat (somehow, worse than it was before? when it was just her body betraying her -) spreads through her body, she tries to break away from stelle, doubling over and hugging herself. ]

Y-you - what was that? What did you do?

Oh, you drank it. Good.

[ a smile - and while it's small, it's still genuine. enjoy that, sirin. ]

It's not going to hurt you. [ she's still gentle as she says it. still oddly kind. ] It'll make you feel good. Better than this kind of thing ever felt before. That's all.

[ she crosses the new distance between them, reaching up to run her fingers along sirin's newly sensitive cheek- along the new erogenous zone that is "sirin." ]

If it helps, that's not the part I was worried about.

[ that almost certainly does not help in the slightest. ]

Nyet! It - it burns, it's worse than whatever that idiot K-423 did to our body -

[ the moan that escapes her is absolutely just the lewdest noise she's ever made. she falls forward against stelle, shivering. ]

It's...Stelle, this is too much - what else are you...?

[ she's...

beautiful. adorable. perfect. her queen. stelle watches her almost reverently, cradling kiana against her. if she lets go now, sirin will fall. without support, sirin has no chance of reaching the bed like this.

she can't let go. she needs to stay with her.

she walks sirin over to the bed - pins her down, wrists over her head and her body defenseless. and then, she gives another one of those same kisses, gentle and loving and not enough. ]

[ it really is too much.

already, it's so much she both can't muster a response and can't figure out if she wants to - every touch is like fire on her skin. not flamescion's fire, but pure, unfiltered pleasure that's somehow so unbearably overwhelming yet not enough. when she's pinned, she screams again, kicking and thrashing and uttering a series of curses in russian, but all the strength's gone from her body and every movement she makes against stelle just makes it all worse -

- and then the kiss. the kiss. it's more than everything else, yet still not satisfying outside of the love and safety radiating from it, that alone almost makes her want to melt into it despite the danger her brain is telling her she's in. ]

Shhh. It's okay. I love you. I love you. Ya tebya lyublyu.

[ the pronunciation is imperfect, flawed - but eager, and so, so wanting. she strokes at sirin's cheek, and she slides a leg between sirin's, and she plants little butterfly kisses up and down her neck as she feels her writhe and wail.

she wants to overwhelm her. she wants to make it so that she can't possibly think enough to object. she wants to drag sirin as far down as she can with her, right now. ]

Y-ya t-t-te -

[ she can't even finish saying it before her body trembles in orgasm. the moan that tears its way out of her chest leaves her teary-eyed, and her resistance starts to fade...or rather, it stops being resistance, exactly. she's still kicking and writhing, her tail flicks rapidly beneath her, and she hisses and snaps at stelle but now it's seemingly half to get away and half to get closer, to have more. ]

I - I...please s-stop, I can't - I can't think -

Edited 2023-10-13 05:12 (UTC)

...sorry. But I won't stop. [ she grinds her leg in and against sirin; she leans in, lapping at her ear in messy strokes of her tongue. one hand raises, gropes at sirin's chest until she can roughly pull the fabric open. and the whole time, she just keeps murmuring- ] My queen. Ya tebya lyublyu. Ich liebe dich. I love you. I love you.

[ her fingers, as gentle as they are, are still unspeakably rough against sirin's pale skin. she tugs at a nipple, runs her thumb over it experimentally, cups the whole petite breast - all sorts of touch, torn from sirin's body. control being ripped away, one step at a time. and when the hand finally drops from sirin's cheek - when there are insistent fingers at her cunt, stroking over fabric and eking out what pressure they can- ]

You can't escape me. I'll... I'll always find you.

[ it's a fumbling, awkward line, more moaned out than actually spoken. but it's all she can say, right now. she has to make sure sirin understands. she has to make sure sirin knows why she's doing this. ]

B-but -

[ she's cut off by the squeal she lets out when stelle's leg presses against her and her attempt to continue is interrupted by another broken noise when stelle's tongue meets her ear. she thinks (as much as she can think) she's about to start crying again from being told that stelle won't stop even while she's calling her her queen and saying she loves her, but she doesn't.

then she thinks it'll happen when he breasts are played with, when stelle's fingers touch her, but neither of those do it, either. she just bucks against those groping hands, seeking the pleasure she's still fairly certain she doesn't want, but she manages to hold on, to still stay coherent. and then -

"You can't escape me. I'll always find you."

- that makes her scream out as tears start falling freely from her eyes, and not too long after she comes again, straining her wrists against stelle's wrists while she babbles incoherently: ]

B-Bella, please, please - you're not supposed t-to, you can't, please, I'll be good I promise I'll be a good girl, so please -

Edited 2023-10-13 05:32 (UTC)

[ that sound makes her fumble, pause for a moment. she's heard that before - that terrified whimper, that scream. that name. she wants, right now, to stop - to apologize, to hold sirin close and stroke her hair and let her know that it's alright.

she doesn't. she can't. this time, she has to go all the way for her. for sirin, for kiana, for finality- she has to prove that even that end can't be surpassed.

her own actions grow desperate, quicker and harsher and more aroused by the second. the fingers stroking at the outside of sirin's underwear fumble, rip the cloth off and slip inside almost frantically. the lips at sirin's neck press in even harder, almost bruising as she nips and licks and pants into that beautifully pale skin. and when she finally pulls back, it's only to lean in and kiss her lips directly, full of tongue and teeth and mumbled iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou.

her free hand finally lets go of sirin's wrists - reaches down, fumbles at her own skirt as she tries to push it down. ]

[ she doesn't understand.

she doesn't understand why her precious beloved servant ~~stelle~~ bella would do this to her. her closest and most trusted friend. it'd be better, she thinks, if she just killed her.

but instead she's ignoring her pleas, all for...what, love? is this love? ~~stelle~~ bella does love her. she doesn't doubt that - she can't, because it'd go against everything that's kept her going all this time that wasn't just her desire to punish humanity.

so it has to be love, but why? it doesn't hurt like love normally does. it's no less terrifying, how every touch brings her so close to the edge and then every other touch pushes her over. she really can't think anymore. at least, not about anything beyond how terrifyingly good it all feels, beyond how to angle her hips so she can get more of ~~stelle~~ bella's fingers in her, beyond how she has to pull her beloved servant deeper into a kiss she can barely reciprocate, once her hands are finally released.

she doesn't notice in the least when the skirt starts coming off, not being able to think of much besides how she just needs more. she whines out Bella's name into the kiss, needy and scared all at once. ]

[ bella, bella, bella. she remembers bella. she knows she should be flattered - she is flattered. and yet-

and yet- ]

Stelle. [ it comes out urgent, desperate - just as desperate as the way she finally flings her skirt and underthings to the ground, finally drags sirin down and onto her back until she can reach her mouth unimpeded. ] Say it. Please, Sirin. I need to hear you say it.

[ the flare of her cock rests at sirin's lips, smooth and honeysuckle-sweet and rock hard for her girlfriend. she wants to push in, more than anything.

but she wants to know sirin knows it's her. she wants sirin to remember this - to remember what she is about to do to her. ]

[ stelle.

stelle. it's stelle. that's why it's different. because it's not bella. this is the love she found, not the love she lost and then recreated for herself and then lost again.

and that's stelle's cock. that monstrously huge thing that's so much bigger now that she's so much smaller. her mouth opens for it, not-quite-involuntarily. she licks across the flare, before she finally remembers how to speak - ]

Stelle. Stelle...

[ something about this should scare her. she knows that. it's...too big? is it?

she doesn't know. it's stelle's and stelle loves her...so that's all she needs to think about. everything else hurts too much. ]

[ the sound that escapes stelle's lips is- everything. hurt and eager and so, so aroused. it's everything that she's wanted. it's the last bit of acknowledgment she needed.

it's finally time. ]

Sirin...!

[ her hips roll forward, hard, enough to force herself down sirin's tiny throat. it can't be healthy. it's the sort of thing that would probably cause lasting damage or rupture for anyone else. but she's a god, and maybe, just maybe, she can take it-

so she has to make sure. she has to make absolutely, unmistakably sure sirin has no way out. she reaches forward, slips her fingers inside sirin's cunt at this new and strange angle; her other hand reaches down, tightening its grip around sirin's throat. she won't be able to breathe like this, with her throat filled to the brim with cock and a hand constricting it even tighter.

and then, without letting up for even a second, she begins to thrust - rapid, harsh, long strokes that go all the way down past sirin's collarbone. ]

[ oh, she thinks, as that cock is forced into her mouth and throat, wrenching her jaw open far more than it ought to be, stretching her throat far past capcity.

I understand now, her thoughts continue, as fingers enter her cunt and stelle crushes her throat that's so close to bursting apart, as the choking and gurgling moan that almost came out around stelle's cock is strangled along with sirin herself. she comes again, despite and because of that pain that's beyond unbearable. and then again, as stelle's cock goes far too deep into her body, splitting tissue and cracking bone.

Stelle's going to kill me, she realizes. Stelle's not Bella, so even though she loves me she's going to kill me just like she wanted, and that's just how it has to be. That's what love is for me.

That's how it always is. This is how it always ends. ]

Edited 2023-10-13 06:34 (UTC)

[ it's not pleasurable. it's the most entrancing thing she's ever seen. it hurts. it feels so, so good. it's awful, the sound of bone and flesh parting. she doesn't want to hear it. she doesn't want to feel sirin die beneath her.

she has to do it. she has to keep going, simply because she needs sirin to understand what will wait on the other side of it. she twitches and throbs inside her beloved girlfriend, and while she can't afford to let go of sirin's throat or stop working at sirin's cunt-

she can at least stumble on words she's been meaning to say. ]

Shhh. Shhh. It's okay. I'm here. I won't... I'm sorry. It hurts, I know, but- I'm here.

[ another long pull, drawing her hips all the way back before slamming forward again. ]

I'm here. Ya tebya lyublyu. I'll be here when you wake up. I won't leave, so-

[ a choked sound; even as she fucks sirin's throat, the feeling of tears dropping down onto her abdomen might still make it through. ]

I'll be here. I'm here, no matter what.

[ her body creaks and cracks apart and struggles for air that can't get past the cock or her crushed windpipe or the blood and spittle dripping out of her mouth and yet - and yet, she comes with every brutal thrust. every word and every movement of stelle's fingers leave her squirting. though - what -

- what is stelle actually talking about? she can barely hear anything anymore, besides the crunching of bone and the rush of blood in her ears. despite the torture that the potion has been, she can't help but be thankful stelle gave it to her. maybe that's love, too. making sure these horrible last moments at least...feel okay.

her eyes drift closed, and everything starts to grow cold. she's drifting, falling, sinking. a dark and terrible void, distinct from the one that she reigns over. one from which nothing escapes, even if she desperately wants it to.

she's been here before.

and just like before, it's not so bad once she's actually there. because...

...because at least she knows she isn't alone. no matter how horrible it is, at least she gets to share one last moment of warmth with her girlfriend.

her eyes flutter shut, and she's gone. ]

[ she can feel the struggling stop. she can feel the protests die away in sirin's crushed throat. and finally, she can feel-

nothing. absence. void.

stelle comes with a shaky cry, trying to hold back sobs even as she grits her teeth. even as her knot swells and she ties to her girlfriend's corpse. the fingers at sirin's groin stop, pull free; she drags herself to the head of the bed, resting upright. and from there, she tries not to think about what she's done-

killed sirin a second time, ended her, destroyed her-

but rather to prepare for her return. she shuffles, pulls the sheets and blankets of the bed out and rests sirin's body beneath them. like she's all tucked in. like she'll wake up any moment, still tied to stelle and forcefully aware of just how much she loves her.

and then, while she waits for sirin to return - while she all but prays for her to return - she strokes at that violet hair, quiet and contemplative between each shuddering tense of her shoulders. ]

[ half an hour.

that's how long it takes. it's only about five or ten or so before faint golden light begins to shine in jagged streaks from beneath her skin, before rigid lavender lines of light dance out in patterns, streaming from her heart - but it takes longer for her body to repair itself as much as it can with a cock still lodged firmly in its throat. fortunately, the hotel's magic helps with that, too. but -

her brain has trouble starting again. she still can't breathe. but if she doesn't start working again, her core will cascade and she'll finally be gone for good. the gem of serenity, the authority of death - the failsafe finality placed in her care so long ago, can't let that happen.

so, even if it means she'll just die again -

- the world comes rushing back to her as she breaches the surface of the void before sinking all the way to its bottom, a sickly purple mist fills the room as if being expelled from her body, before being absorbed back into her. she sputters and chokes around the cock stuck in her, and in a panic she immediately begins beating her fists against stelle with what little strength her broken body can muster. ]

Edited 2023-10-13 07:11 (UTC)

[ thirty miserable minutes. thirty minutes alone and without the one being that genuinely understands, for better or for worse. it's absolutely, utterly miserable.

but at least she knows sirin is coming back a few minutes in. at least she's there when sirin finally wakes up. and even if sirin will only start choking again immediately, gagging on a cock longer than any human was meant to take and a load of cum weighing her stomach down, that's still enough time to grab her wrist-

to stroke at her cheek and whisper urgently- ]

It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'll still be here. I promise.

[ what? what??

she tries, desperately, to make sound around stelle's cock. she can't. she tries to pull off of it, and all she really manages is to rebreak her jaw. she tries to pull her wrist away, but she's too weak to.

so she stops to consider things. the pleasure just from being touched like this is still too much, not to mention the cock in her throat which also is rapidly causing her brain to shut down again.

she has time. stelle...didn't damage her core. so serenity brought her back. but that's -

- that's only happened once before, because the person who was trying to kill her didn't know she'd come back. stelle did, she remembers kiana telling her. so...why? why is she alive again? not even like before, where she woke up later as someone else entirely.

she thought she understood, but she really, really doesn't. and before she can think about it further, her eyes start to shut themselves again. she's sinking once more, but it's not scary this time.

it's just...confusing. will she wake up again? will stelle still be there? why? ]

[ it's less scary for both of them this time. the first time is always the most frightening, after all. this time, she's actually able to watch as sirin passes on - as confusion and exhaustion and suffocation kick in, but not that intense fear this time. confusion is easier. she doesn't hate the idea of sirin being confused, right now.

she doesn't move from their current position. she quietly browses on her phone, in between moments stroking sirin's hair. when the golden and lavender light begins to shine through, she traces it with a finger, tries to memorize the patterns and where they shine through brightest. when she can see bioluminescence pulse out from the scars on sirin's abdomen, she runs a finger along them - careful, as careful as she can be, to not break them.

this time, she's already holding sirin's wrist by the time she would wake up. already whispering down to her before she has a chance to panic: ]

Shh. Ya tebya lyublyu. I'm here, Sirin.

Edited (HOW WOULD STELLE WHISPER INTO SIRIN'S EAR SIRIN'S LITERALLY KNOTTED BY MOUTH TO HER COCK) 2023-10-13 07:36 (UTC)

[ there's something very specific that gets to her this time.

the fact that stelle made sure to be on time. this - this is something she's doing on purpose. and this time she went out of her way to hold her still and to reassure her as soon as she returned from the void.

and that's when she really, truly understands.

stelle is here. her servant, her girlfriend, the only person she can really truly trust...she's here. and she'll always be here. even her mother - even cecilia wasn't there when K-423 woke up. how could she have been?

no, there was only one person who ever managed that. bella. and the dragon that protected K-423 was hardly bella anymore by that point - just a shambling dead husk that remembered what was important to it.

stelle...is still here. she's still stelle. that stupid woman sitting there, holding her, tied to her, mangling her language so genuinely.

before she dies for a third time, she frantically tries to tap into finality to send stelle a message - blazingly painful as usual.

Ya tebya lyublyu.

and then, once more, her eyes shut. ]

[ the second awakening is so, so much gentler. she can see it in sirin's eyes, even as the lack of oxygen almost immediately starts to drag her under again. she's understanding. she's starting to realize-

that stelle's here for her. that she's stayed here the entire time. and that she'll stay again, this time, and the next, and the one after that. and when those words are burnt into her mind's eye, searing her retinas and her soul all at once, a great and terrible relief washes over her. she understands. stelle's done what she came here to do.

about ten minutes into the cycle, she finally - finally - manages to pull out from sirin's mouth. her girlfriend's so small, like this, and while that's certainly exciting it's also a bit... fraught, logistically. so she lets the hotel's magic do its work, watching as sirin's throat and mouth slowly knits themselves back together, and when she lifts sirin's body up-

lines herself up against her, enters her as gently as she can while sirin's still dead weight-

it's strange, how much different it feels this time. this isn't sirin's "corpse." this is just another sleep, another form of unconsciousness. she'll be back soon. and this time, when she does come back - to a hand stroking her hair, to her face buried against stelle's shoulders, to the slow, gentle rocks of stelle's hips in shallow movements meant to feel nice for both of them - ]

"Lyublyu." The first part sounds like leu. I've been saying it wrong the whole time. [ -it's to stelle's sheepish apology. ] Ya tebya lyublyu. Is that any better?

[ her cold body, slumped against stelle, slowly begins to regain it's warmth. and this time, when sirin claws her way back out of the yawning maw of the void she just barely manages to gasp for air before being assaulted by a pleasure that tears a weak, shaky moan from her. she's being split open again, and it hurts.

it hurts, but this time she isn't scared. it feels good, and this time, she can really, truly appreciate it. with what strength she has she clings to the woman who's broken her so thoroughly.

this woman, this being that's a miracle from the stars just as surely as sirin is a calamity from the skies - her girlfriend. the one who's singlehandled proven, after all this time, that she doesn't have to be alone anymore. that, even if she's bad, even if she has to kill her, even if that's really how it has to be...she'll be there with her. she'll bring her back before she's past the point of no return, and she'll still be there when she's back.

sirin heaves out a happy sob, curling her fists in stelle's clothing. it's the not the first time she's ever felt it - kiana kaslana, of course, has had these moments. but this is the first time sirin schariac, as herself, as the bad one who can't let go of the past because forgetting might as well be death, for both of them - this is the first time she's cried tears of happiness.

kiana was right. she'll be okay. and that's enough. ]

D-da. It's good. You're good. Stelle...Stelle...

Edited 2023-10-13 22:23 (UTC)

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