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[ stelle.

stelle. it's stelle. that's why it's different. because it's not bella. this is the love she found, not the love she lost and then recreated for herself and then lost again.

and that's stelle's cock. that monstrously huge thing that's so much bigger now that she's so much smaller. her mouth opens for it, not-quite-involuntarily. she licks across the flare, before she finally remembers how to speak - ]

Stelle. Stelle...

[ something about this should scare her. she knows that. it's...too big? is it?

she doesn't know. it's stelle's and stelle loves her...so that's all she needs to think about. everything else hurts too much. ]

[ the sound that escapes stelle's lips is- everything. hurt and eager and so, so aroused. it's everything that she's wanted. it's the last bit of acknowledgment she needed.

it's finally time. ]

Sirin...!

[ her hips roll forward, hard, enough to force herself down sirin's tiny throat. it can't be healthy. it's the sort of thing that would probably cause lasting damage or rupture for anyone else. but she's a god, and maybe, just maybe, she can take it-

so she has to make sure. she has to make absolutely, unmistakably sure sirin has no way out. she reaches forward, slips her fingers inside sirin's cunt at this new and strange angle; her other hand reaches down, tightening its grip around sirin's throat. she won't be able to breathe like this, with her throat filled to the brim with cock and a hand constricting it even tighter.

and then, without letting up for even a second, she begins to thrust - rapid, harsh, long strokes that go all the way down past sirin's collarbone. ]

[ oh, she thinks, as that cock is forced into her mouth and throat, wrenching her jaw open far more than it ought to be, stretching her throat far past capcity.

I understand now, her thoughts continue, as fingers enter her cunt and stelle crushes her throat that's so close to bursting apart, as the choking and gurgling moan that almost came out around stelle's cock is strangled along with sirin herself. she comes again, despite and because of that pain that's beyond unbearable. and then again, as stelle's cock goes far too deep into her body, splitting tissue and cracking bone.

Stelle's going to kill me, she realizes. Stelle's not Bella, so even though she loves me she's going to kill me just like she wanted, and that's just how it has to be. That's what love is for me.

That's how it always is. This is how it always ends. ]

Edited 2023-10-13 06:34 (UTC)

[ it's not pleasurable. it's the most entrancing thing she's ever seen. it hurts. it feels so, so good. it's awful, the sound of bone and flesh parting. she doesn't want to hear it. she doesn't want to feel sirin die beneath her.

she has to do it. she has to keep going, simply because she needs sirin to understand what will wait on the other side of it. she twitches and throbs inside her beloved girlfriend, and while she can't afford to let go of sirin's throat or stop working at sirin's cunt-

she can at least stumble on words she's been meaning to say. ]

Shhh. Shhh. It's okay. I'm here. I won't... I'm sorry. It hurts, I know, but- I'm here.

[ another long pull, drawing her hips all the way back before slamming forward again. ]

I'm here. Ya tebya lyublyu. I'll be here when you wake up. I won't leave, so-

[ a choked sound; even as she fucks sirin's throat, the feeling of tears dropping down onto her abdomen might still make it through. ]

I'll be here. I'm here, no matter what.

[ her body creaks and cracks apart and struggles for air that can't get past the cock or her crushed windpipe or the blood and spittle dripping out of her mouth and yet - and yet, she comes with every brutal thrust. every word and every movement of stelle's fingers leave her squirting. though - what -

- what is stelle actually talking about? she can barely hear anything anymore, besides the crunching of bone and the rush of blood in her ears. despite the torture that the potion has been, she can't help but be thankful stelle gave it to her. maybe that's love, too. making sure these horrible last moments at least...feel okay.

her eyes drift closed, and everything starts to grow cold. she's drifting, falling, sinking. a dark and terrible void, distinct from the one that she reigns over. one from which nothing escapes, even if she desperately wants it to.

she's been here before.

and just like before, it's not so bad once she's actually there. because...

...because at least she knows she isn't alone. no matter how horrible it is, at least she gets to share one last moment of warmth with her girlfriend.

her eyes flutter shut, and she's gone. ]

[ she can feel the struggling stop. she can feel the protests die away in sirin's crushed throat. and finally, she can feel-

nothing. absence. void.

stelle comes with a shaky cry, trying to hold back sobs even as she grits her teeth. even as her knot swells and she ties to her girlfriend's corpse. the fingers at sirin's groin stop, pull free; she drags herself to the head of the bed, resting upright. and from there, she tries not to think about what she's done-

killed sirin a second time, ended her, destroyed her-

but rather to prepare for her return. she shuffles, pulls the sheets and blankets of the bed out and rests sirin's body beneath them. like she's all tucked in. like she'll wake up any moment, still tied to stelle and forcefully aware of just how much she loves her.

and then, while she waits for sirin to return - while she all but prays for her to return - she strokes at that violet hair, quiet and contemplative between each shuddering tense of her shoulders. ]

[ half an hour.

that's how long it takes. it's only about five or ten or so before faint golden light begins to shine in jagged streaks from beneath her skin, before rigid lavender lines of light dance out in patterns, streaming from her heart - but it takes longer for her body to repair itself as much as it can with a cock still lodged firmly in its throat. fortunately, the hotel's magic helps with that, too. but -

her brain has trouble starting again. she still can't breathe. but if she doesn't start working again, her core will cascade and she'll finally be gone for good. the gem of serenity, the authority of death - the failsafe finality placed in her care so long ago, can't let that happen.

so, even if it means she'll just die again -

- the world comes rushing back to her as she breaches the surface of the void before sinking all the way to its bottom, a sickly purple mist fills the room as if being expelled from her body, before being absorbed back into her. she sputters and chokes around the cock stuck in her, and in a panic she immediately begins beating her fists against stelle with what little strength her broken body can muster. ]

Edited 2023-10-13 07:11 (UTC)

[ thirty miserable minutes. thirty minutes alone and without the one being that genuinely understands, for better or for worse. it's absolutely, utterly miserable.

but at least she knows sirin is coming back a few minutes in. at least she's there when sirin finally wakes up. and even if sirin will only start choking again immediately, gagging on a cock longer than any human was meant to take and a load of cum weighing her stomach down, that's still enough time to grab her wrist-

to stroke at her cheek and whisper urgently- ]

It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'll still be here. I promise.

[ what? what??

she tries, desperately, to make sound around stelle's cock. she can't. she tries to pull off of it, and all she really manages is to rebreak her jaw. she tries to pull her wrist away, but she's too weak to.

so she stops to consider things. the pleasure just from being touched like this is still too much, not to mention the cock in her throat which also is rapidly causing her brain to shut down again.

she has time. stelle...didn't damage her core. so serenity brought her back. but that's -

- that's only happened once before, because the person who was trying to kill her didn't know she'd come back. stelle did, she remembers kiana telling her. so...why? why is she alive again? not even like before, where she woke up later as someone else entirely.

she thought she understood, but she really, really doesn't. and before she can think about it further, her eyes start to shut themselves again. she's sinking once more, but it's not scary this time.

it's just...confusing. will she wake up again? will stelle still be there? why? ]

[ it's less scary for both of them this time. the first time is always the most frightening, after all. this time, she's actually able to watch as sirin passes on - as confusion and exhaustion and suffocation kick in, but not that intense fear this time. confusion is easier. she doesn't hate the idea of sirin being confused, right now.

she doesn't move from their current position. she quietly browses on her phone, in between moments stroking sirin's hair. when the golden and lavender light begins to shine through, she traces it with a finger, tries to memorize the patterns and where they shine through brightest. when she can see bioluminescence pulse out from the scars on sirin's abdomen, she runs a finger along them - careful, as careful as she can be, to not break them.

this time, she's already holding sirin's wrist by the time she would wake up. already whispering down to her before she has a chance to panic: ]

Shh. Ya tebya lyublyu. I'm here, Sirin.

Edited (HOW WOULD STELLE WHISPER INTO SIRIN'S EAR SIRIN'S LITERALLY KNOTTED BY MOUTH TO HER COCK) 2023-10-13 07:36 (UTC)

[ there's something very specific that gets to her this time.

the fact that stelle made sure to be on time. this - this is something she's doing on purpose. and this time she went out of her way to hold her still and to reassure her as soon as she returned from the void.

and that's when she really, truly understands.

stelle is here. her servant, her girlfriend, the only person she can really truly trust...she's here. and she'll always be here. even her mother - even cecilia wasn't there when K-423 woke up. how could she have been?

no, there was only one person who ever managed that. bella. and the dragon that protected K-423 was hardly bella anymore by that point - just a shambling dead husk that remembered what was important to it.

stelle...is still here. she's still stelle. that stupid woman sitting there, holding her, tied to her, mangling her language so genuinely.

before she dies for a third time, she frantically tries to tap into finality to send stelle a message - blazingly painful as usual.

Ya tebya lyublyu.

and then, once more, her eyes shut. ]

[ the second awakening is so, so much gentler. she can see it in sirin's eyes, even as the lack of oxygen almost immediately starts to drag her under again. she's understanding. she's starting to realize-

that stelle's here for her. that she's stayed here the entire time. and that she'll stay again, this time, and the next, and the one after that. and when those words are burnt into her mind's eye, searing her retinas and her soul all at once, a great and terrible relief washes over her. she understands. stelle's done what she came here to do.

about ten minutes into the cycle, she finally - finally - manages to pull out from sirin's mouth. her girlfriend's so small, like this, and while that's certainly exciting it's also a bit... fraught, logistically. so she lets the hotel's magic do its work, watching as sirin's throat and mouth slowly knits themselves back together, and when she lifts sirin's body up-

lines herself up against her, enters her as gently as she can while sirin's still dead weight-

it's strange, how much different it feels this time. this isn't sirin's "corpse." this is just another sleep, another form of unconsciousness. she'll be back soon. and this time, when she does come back - to a hand stroking her hair, to her face buried against stelle's shoulders, to the slow, gentle rocks of stelle's hips in shallow movements meant to feel nice for both of them - ]

"Lyublyu." The first part sounds like leu. I've been saying it wrong the whole time. [ -it's to stelle's sheepish apology. ] Ya tebya lyublyu. Is that any better?

[ her cold body, slumped against stelle, slowly begins to regain it's warmth. and this time, when sirin claws her way back out of the yawning maw of the void she just barely manages to gasp for air before being assaulted by a pleasure that tears a weak, shaky moan from her. she's being split open again, and it hurts.

it hurts, but this time she isn't scared. it feels good, and this time, she can really, truly appreciate it. with what strength she has she clings to the woman who's broken her so thoroughly.

this woman, this being that's a miracle from the stars just as surely as sirin is a calamity from the skies - her girlfriend. the one who's singlehandled proven, after all this time, that she doesn't have to be alone anymore. that, even if she's bad, even if she has to kill her, even if that's really how it has to be...she'll be there with her. she'll bring her back before she's past the point of no return, and she'll still be there when she's back.

sirin heaves out a happy sob, curling her fists in stelle's clothing. it's the not the first time she's ever felt it - kiana kaslana, of course, has had these moments. but this is the first time sirin schariac, as herself, as the bad one who can't let go of the past because forgetting might as well be death, for both of them - this is the first time she's cried tears of happiness.

kiana was right. she'll be okay. and that's enough. ]

D-da. It's good. You're good. Stelle...Stelle...

Edited 2023-10-13 22:23 (UTC)

[ bit by bit, life returns to her girlfriend. she can feel her grip tighten, the sudden working of muscles against her chest and around her cock. and then-

then sirin is crying in a way she's never heard. it doesn't sound like terror, or resignment, or the primal fear that stelle hates almost as much as she adores. it sounds... small. gentle. like march, finding her after a separation.

stelle's cock twitches, flexes inside sirin with the next thrust. and she just breathes out a soft laugh, pulling sirin even closer against her. ]

Sirin. [ a response. a reassurance. a promise. ] Just let it feel good. You don't have to be afraid.

[ she wants, so desperately, to trust stelle. she does trust stelle, even though she's so painfully full and even though every little touch still sets her nerves aflame. and it does feel good, better than anything ever has. but - ]

S-stelle...it's too much...I can't...

[ she's cut off as she comes around stelle's cock again and as the ability to think starts to leave her again. she moves her hand down to her abdomen, to the base her stitched up wound, to feel from the outside how each sickeningly gentle thrust stretches her body.

maybe not thinking is what she should do. just let it feel good. ]

Please, please....

[ she can feel sirin come, shaking and clenching down around her. it's incredible. she's so, so lucky to have her: beautiful, broken, all-powerful, frail. she wants to tear that power away from her. she wants to build her up, to worship until she is the most powerful god of this universe or the next.

her pace doesn't change one bit. she doesn't lose control, doesn't start going unnecessarily hard. she just keeps those slow, deliberate thrusts going, trying to force sirin through more and more pleasure with each movement. ]

I'm here. I'm here, Sirin. I'll make it feel good. I absolutely, really promise.

Okay. Okay. I -

[ it's getting harder and harder for her to talk as her orgasms build faster and faster and her thoughts drift further and further. she bites at stelle's shoulder, hands scrabbling uselessly against her chest as she's rocked so painfully gently up and down.

but there's still something she has to say, just one more thing before she lets herself go - ]

Scared - 'm...scared. Because - because -

[ because she trusts her. because that trust is something she just used to kill her, even if it was only temporary. because it could've been permanent, if stelle really wanted it to be. ]

- you're not scared of me anymore. And I'm not - scared of you -

...it is scary, isn't it?

[ it is scary. the idea that either of them could hurt that trust without a second doubt. the idea that just as stelle could kill sirin, sirin could kill stelle. the idea that if either of them truly vanished, it would hurt even more than that betrayal.

she leans in, presses her lips to sirin's in a gentle kiss. one hand drops down, her thumb coming down to run in gentle circles around her clit. and she finally just murmurs: ]

Love is scary. [ and then, without stopping to think: ] And I love you.

Edited 2023-10-18 06:35 (UTC)

[ she was hoping for some sort of reassurance, and she does maybe find it in the thought that stelle feels the same way. she certainly finds it in the kiss, soft and gentle and warm. and then stelle touches her clit and between that and the emotions filling her chest to bursting and the cock splitting her apart so lovingly she finally lets go. she comes again, wrapping her arms around stelle in a crushing embrace. she bites and kisses through her clothing at her chest and neck and babbles into skin and fabric - "I love you", disjointed and broken and full of trembling apprehensive joy, in every language she knows. ]

[ that's the final straw that breaks stelle. her breathing quickens; her grip on sirin tightens, somehow. but even like this, she holds off, asking with a quiet tension in her voice- ]

Is inside okay?

[ inside feels best. inside ties them together; inside floods sirin with her love, her desire, her will to keep living. but inside is rough, cruel, painful nonetheless.

that's the choice she wants to give sirin. she wants her to want it. ]

[ it'd hurt.

it'd hurt so, so much. but there'd also be safety, comfort, closeness. she wants to be with her girlfriend as much as possible, so she wants as much of stelle in her as she can have. it's selfish and self-destructive, just like everything else she does - but for once it's something that will give her happiness that will actually last.

so, her body still trembling, face still tucked against stelle, she nods frantically. ]

Please. Inside. Stelle, please.

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