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[endyourstory]

"Hello, you've reached the moon! Congratulations!"

Comments

[starcinoma]

[ there's a good few minutes before the next response comes in. ]

Forget about sex for a second. Do you need someone to just sit with you sometimes?
Or lie down next to you at night?

[endyourstory]

I started crying when you said that so I think so

[starcinoma]

Do you want me to come over right now?

[endyourstory]

If you want to.
Actually I did have something I wanted to ask you
But I should say it in person, so

[starcinoma]

[ the knock comes about three seconds after the "if you want to."

stelle might have, uh. already been on the way over. sorry about your stupid overeager faerie pup, finality. ]

[endyourstory]

[ that's fine because she was honestly five seconds from just teleporting stelle over anyway.

which

she does now. welcome to being on the bed and being hugged by a very lonely moon goddess, stelle. ]

Can I come with you on the Astral Express?

[starcinoma]

[ congratulations, kiana: there's a very confused stelle on your bed, her hand still half-raised to knock. not that it matters once kiana's arms are around her, of course. she relaxes after a moment, dropping her arms and embracing kiana right back. ]

...I want to say yes. [ it's hesitant. she doesn't want to be hesitant. ] But it's not just my decision. It's March, and Dan Heng's... Welt and Himiko, too. And I think they'd all love you, but I'd need to ask first, and...

[ and i don't know if they'd love your sister. stelle hesitates - breathes in, exhales. ]

Would Sirin be able to behave? [ she sounds... a bit disappointed that she even has to ask the question. ] Pom-Pom probably wouldn't be happy with her otherwise.

[endyourstory]

She...might have problems with Welt and Himeko. Especially Welt.

[ I'll kill that traitor. ]

But! She let Dan Heng hug her. And March is cute enough I don't think she'll have a problem...we're...she's really getting better. She won't ever be...um, what she calls "good". That's why we can't really co-exist, exactly.

But I know that if she can trust people just a little again, she'll be okay. I definitely did mean to ask Dan Heng and March, too. And...I don't know if I'll actually be able to go, anyway. I think I can be around you fine, but outside of this dream...I just leak too much honkai to really be safe for anyone else.

[ she recalls her conversation with senti, earlier. it's really just best if she stays here in this place, isn't it...? ]

But if I can...I'd really want to. Maybe I could just send...a part of myself.

[starcinoma]

She's not allowed to kill him if she comes along.

[ or call him an insect. ]

...she can call him an insect if he wants. He can deal with it.

[ and the rest of kiana's words... she just listens to. at some point during it, she leans, gently plopping them both down onto their sides on the bed without breaking the hug. ]

If you're safe. If any part of you is safe. Then I want to see if it's possible.

[endyourstory]

Okay.

[ she curls up against stelle, whining softly. ]

That'd be nice. I don't know when I'll get to see Mei or Bronya again, so...it's nice to not be alone.

[starcinoma]

[ this is... nice. comforting. she feels like she remembers this sensation, somehow - a time before existence. she reaches up, stroking kiana's hair. ]

Even if you can't come with us... I want to see if I can find a way to visit. Sometimes I'll have to do things for the Nameless, but. I want to see you, too.

[ she remembers what she told sirin. stroking at kiana's hair: ]

Both of you.

[endyourstory]

[ she nuzzles at stelle's hand, thinking idly to herself. deep in her heart, she knows she won't succeed.

but...mei did. even if just for small amounts of time, even if it's not physically, mei did.

and stelle's proved she's just as capable. so... ]

That'd...be really nice. Even just knowing I might see you after we wake up...that's enough, I think. Haha, you should be careful, though! If you keep coming after my heart like this, Mei-senpai might have competition. She gets jealous real easy, you know! Authority of Conquest and all that.

[ it's half a joke, accompanied by a laugh. then, softly: ]

Ich liebe dich.

[starcinoma]

Conquest... Sounds scary. I'll be sure not to flirt without buying some armor first.

[ she doesn't understand the words that leave kiana's mouth. not exactly, at least. but she understands the feeling enough. it doesn't matter if it's "i hate you" or "i love you" or "i want to see you break" or "i want to keep you safe." all that matters is that- ]

I do too.

[ and she buries her head into kiana's hair, kissing lightly at the back of her neck - once, for once, not an overture or a tease. ]

1/3

[endyourstory]

[ "scary? I mean yeah, but it's also really hot", she almost says

but for once she manages to restrain herself, just basking in stelle's response. she curls into herself a little, with a quiet sigh. and then - ]

Oh! Sirin has something to say.

[endyourstory]

"Wings. Horn. Tail. Not large enough to ride, but your new body is adequate. Your Queen is pleased."

done

[endyourstory]

Also she's mad I said "ich liebe dich". Apparently we don't love you that much. Coulda fooled me.

[starcinoma]

...Sirin thinks my body is good enough?

[ sorry, kiana. getting an i love you in a language you don't understand is one thing, and she'll finish putting that together in a second. but for sirin to voice genuine approval of her, after all they've done to one another- ]

-wait, did you just say you love me too?

[endyourstory]

...The Sirin that actually would've been my sister died with our mom, you know? K-423 and the Herrscher of the Void - we're both the second chance that Sirin wished for. We have the same relationship Sirin and the original Kiana would've...but we really are the same person, even if we're independent of each other most of the time. I should make a family tree to clear this up at some point.

But the point is...we really are the same person, even if it doesn't seem like we are sometimes and even if we're calling each other sisters now. We're just the parts of each other we don't express directly, so of course I love you even if I don't say it or express it the way she does.

[starcinoma]

[ she listens to kiana- sirin? k-423? finality- speak, watching the back of her head the whole while. it's a lot to process. give her... give her just a moment. let her think.

and finally, she mumbles: ]

That explains the choking part, huh...

[endyourstory]

[ she sputters a little - ]

Eh? What?

[starcinoma]

No, it totally makes sense. Think about it. I'd been thinking Sirin was the one who I wanted to hurt, right? That was my love. And you were the one who wanted to love. But both of you want to love, and both of you want to be loved.

[ she nods. she's finally starting to get it. ]

So both of you like being choked, too. It's like that.

[endyourstory]

I...guess? I mean, yes, we both want to love and be loved and it's just that our priorities are different because of what parts of ourself we represent, but the choking's not really the same. I think we both have the same priorities there? Why is this the way you're deciding to understand it anyway...

1/3

[starcinoma]

Because I do better with hands-on examples.

2/3

[starcinoma]

[starcinoma]

...you know. Because choking requires hands? It's like. You get it, right?

I feel like I could have done better on that one.